Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Complaints.

I go for a walk. Suddenly someone stops me. She wants to tell me how much she hates the clothes people use. She thinks no one understand her. Those clothes were just so extravagant that she would burn them. Then, she asks me what do I think. I hesitated. She talked again. Politics sucks, so does the government, and the university, and people, and family, and life itself.

She stops, she feels now better. I can feel it. I would be happy for her but she just throws all that shit to me and I feel depresed. She walks away like nothing have just happened. I might be quiet but in my head I have things you can´t even imagine. I would like to tell her: Life is hard. If it was easy it would be boring. You have a home, you have a bathroom, you have something to eat everyday, you even have your own room! You can go to receive education. And yet, you complain? Look girl, Fuck You and Have A Nice Day!

Friday, September 16, 2011

Independence.

Back to university. New people around me. I don´t know anyone. I miss my friends back home. I feel like nobody cares. And suddenly I´m stressed, uncomfortable with myself, I´m a mess.

I see people going up and down stairs, not noticing me, if they do I feel they are not thinking anything good about me. Girls wearing highheels, I´m wearing trainers. Boys with an Abercrombie sweatshirt, mine is from a flee market. I´m totally out of place. What the fuck am I doing here? I should have stayed at home. I´m insane.

Ok, a big whatever to life. I chose this, I´m gonna live with it. Deep breath. As usual, its time to grow up, little by little. If they dont care, why should I? Fuck them.

All of sudden I feel like I´m an adult, I don´t need anyone next to me. Friends change. People change. I´m strong. I´m independent.



Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Changes.



New place. Music helps, but everything is still new. I don´t know anyone here. The whole situation is strange to me and I´m a stranger in this new city. When you are far away from the people you love, you realise how much you trust them to support you and to stand by your side.


Family. There were always next to you. They will always be. Even though you get upset with them because they tell you the truth. Even though you get stressed about their funny little ways. Even though you act stupidly with them. They´ll stand by you.


Friends. They are fun. They are people you spend a lot of time with. They are people you tell your problems and they can understand you and they might give you a good advise. The ones who really care about you, will stand by you.


Now M is in a changing period. In a different country. With different people. She feels a little lonely and she misses her family and friends. Her people. Those who make her be the person she is. She takes a deep breath and face the changes. One step. Another one. Suddenly, it´s not that difficult.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Hope.



Remeber when you were a little girl? Maybe you dreamed about being a doctor, a teacher, an astronaut... Maybe you thought you would be president someday. I personally played a lot with these little figures. I imagined I was the insignificant good girl. I would meet the awesome and popular guy in the neighbourhood. The light-eyed girl would try to keep him away from me, but he´d see how much I was worth. He´d finally realize how much we´d have in common, how much I´d make him happy and how much I would support him. Then, we´d get married and live happily ever after and even have children.


Now, I´m all grown up, an adult (at least most of the time), I can see it´s not always like that. Especially nowadays. You go to a disco and you can see people who haven´t met before getting too close. Maybe it´s me who is being closed-minded, but I don´t feel like giving myself to someone I don´t know at all. I still want my childhood dream. I think it is difficult to accomplish, but hey, dreams are free and they don´t hurt anyone but me. And it´s my life, so why can´t I wake up every morning following my dreams?